Not all accidents are bad
by tennants-midnight-wolf
Summary: The Doctor and Clara accidentally kiss. The Doctor stares at the scanner his gaze unfocused. He brings a finger to his lips recalling the memory for the hundredth time, he could still feel the imprint of hers against them warm, soft and enticing. He doesn't think this sensation will fade anytime soon, breathing out a sigh as his eyes flutter closed.


The Doctor stares at the scanner his gaze unfocused. He brings a finger to his lips recalling the memory for the hundredth time, he could still feel the imprint of hers against them warm, soft and enticing. He doesn't think this sensation will fade anytime soon, breathing out a sigh as his eyes flutter closed.

They were both seated in the library, after spending another day travelling, saving another planet from destruction and narrowly escaping in the process. He was immersed in the book propped up before him, when Clara decided to turn in for the evening. She bids him goodnight leaning down to plant a chaste kiss to his cheek, her hand touching his shoulder. But the gesture makes him turn his head. His lips catching her own in one swift movement.

The kiss doesn't last long but as they break apart there's a silent hesitation between them. Neither one really wants to stop. They linger for a second only a breaths width apart before the reactions pour out of them.

His body jolts him backwards stunned from the sudden contact, stumbling upright from the chair putting some distance between them. His mind is foggy confused and he suddenly loses his amazing ability to comprehend anything. Except one thought. He had kissed Clara Oswald.

They're all diverted glances and mumbled apologies, they're cheeks flushing. He notices her eyes had dilated, mirroring his own shock back at him. He suddenly feels too warm, can feel a prickling along his neck. He has to break this silence somehow.

"Well-" His voice is hoarse and he instantly hopes she doesn't notice. He clears his throat as subtly as he can before continuing. "Got to go sort out the…" He gestures with a lazy hand towards the door, not really knowing what he means. He just needs to leave and quickly before he acts on impulse. "Lots to do. See you tomorrow." He hastily sweeps past her petite form not daring to glance back. But then spends the rest of the evening reprimanding himself for his actions.

He had kissed Clara Oswald. And then ran away. Doctor Idiot indeed.

Ever since Christmas it had been different between them. He was trying to open up to her, trying to be more caring, more huggy, more sensitive. But kissing? He'd never thought about that before. Silly, stupid Time Lord. Always neglecting the plain obvious. He should've taken it into account, read a manual or something. In case it ever happened, but then he didn't suspect it, suspect this. Why would he? They were just friends. Friends hug all the time that was fine. Acceptable. But kissing? Of course she had kissed him. Several times actually, now he thinks about it. She would always peck him on the cheek in times when she felt it was fitting and he'd feel the warmth radiate from inside him, from his chest, feel his hearts flutter drawing a smile to his eyes.

But this? This was…this was…this was….

"Doctor?"

Her voice stirs him out of his reverie. He grips hold of the console edge, steadying himself, before facing her. She's stood on the stairs glancing at him; the butterflies in his stomach flit about double time, as their eyes meet, before he notices the uncertain smile playing on her lips. He has to pull his eyes away from them whilst he still has the will power to. He doesn't know how to play this, or what to say. It happened accidentally, but it still happened. Whilst he didn't plan it, he can't say that he would ever want to reverse time and wipe it from existence. But how to tell her? And what if she didn't feel the same?

"Did you fix the problem with the…" She trails off unsure of how to finish that sentence, after all he never exactly said only rushed off. It takes several moments to understand what she's referring to. His excuse from last night.

"Yes, sort of…" he too trails off feeling awkward, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck. But then he looks into her eyes and what he says next stumbles out of his mouth. "You know that thing… that happened yesterday. My lips hitting yours…" Ugh! That was pathetic. Why could he not just say it?

"You mean the kiss?" She draws her eyebrows together, questioning, moving off the stairs nearer to the console, nearer to him.

"Yes. No! Was that what it was?" He looks at her, lamely, words failing him spectacularly.

"Don't worry. It's fine. It was... an accident." She responds but he doesn't hear the uncertainly in her voice, only the words.

An accident. He pauses mulling the word over in his head. So that's how she saw it then? Part of him is relived at least he didn't have to worry about any awkwardness between them. Of course they were just friends, best friends and that was all they ever would be. Good, this was good. But then why did his chest ache so badly?

"Doctor? You ok?" She asks tentatively, stepping forward placing a careful hand onto his shoulder. He lifts his head at her touch seeing the brown of her eyes before him and knows that he isn't. But he puts on his best smile and hides behind this façade. He didn't want to cause her pain and so shunts off around the console pressing buttons here and there and asking her where to next? Anything to distract them both from this current predicament.

Soon enough they fall back into the usual rhythm, adventuring throughout time and space and he thinks he's gotten away with it. The fact she's not mentioned anything since. Yet he can't help but relay the moment over in his head, in the quiet moments he has to himself. He finds himself recreating the scene again, one where he didn't run. One where instead he had bridged that gap between them and kissed her again. Like he wanted to, like he should've. Instead he has to live with the memory of that and the fact he can't ever look at her lips in quite the same way.

Clara enters the console room some days later brushing her fingertips against the cold railings of the steps as he addresses her.

"Ah, Clara. Good timing. Now I was thinking, yes dangerous pastime I know, but we haven't been to the diamond waterfalls. They're pretty marvellous at this time of year particularly when the sun catches the water making them sparkle. Best to wear sunglasses mind it can be a tad bright."

She doesn't respond right away, making him look up at her. "So what do you say, want to go there?"

"Look, Doctor. We really need to talk."

"Isn't that what we're doing?" He asks hesitantly, his eyebrows raising confused.

"About the kiss."

He stops. His hands gripping the console, as the thought of her lips against his penetrate his thoughts, he breathes in trying to collect himself. He isn't ready for this. Not now. "I thought we already did." He says trying to avoid the inevitable for as long as he can.

"Yes, but not properly. Not... everything."

"What more needed to be discussed? It was an accident. They happen all the time Clara. It's fine."

"It isn't fine!" She shouts at him. He stops, spinning around to look at her, at the pure emotion emanating from her. She was angry, and sad and determined. Determined to stop hopping around the subject. "Doctor, the only reason I said it was an accident was because it was. I didn't aim to kiss you on the lips, but I did, we did. You can pretend that it didn't happen if you want, keep up this pretence that everything is just dandy between us, but I can't."

He stands still for a while not moving and she becomes silently more furious with him. Why didn't he say something? Do something? Anything? Just react.

After a beat he moves across to her. "Clara." He reaches out resting his palm against her cheek, rubbing his thumb delicately across her skin. His azure eyes devouring her with one glance. "I don't want to pretend."

Then he's bent down, his lips upon hers pouring out all the emotions he's had locked up since that evening. As she closes her eyes, rising up to meet him, her arms automatically drawing around him bringing him closer. She deepens the kiss, a soft moan escaping his lips "Clara, my Clara" and he wraps his arms around her protectively not wanting this moment to ever fade.

Soon they have to break apart, Clara regaining her breath as she stares up at the Doctor.

"Why didn't you just say?"

He searches her eyes before responding. "I had a duty of care."

He says it like it should answer this question and more. Like it's the only answer she'll ever need. And suddenly she understands. He's always said it, had always felt like this. She smiles up at him her dimples showing before pressing her lips to his in understanding. In that moment the Doctor can't help thinking that maybe some accidents aren't always so bad after all.

* * *

 **A/N~** Thanks for reading and thank you to my beta reader Live.


End file.
